Difficulty: Easy

Making eye contact with the person you are speaking to or the person you plan to approach is significant in getting their attention and to show importance in what you are saying to them. Eye contact also increases your assertiveness. More often than not, you can tell a person’s confidence relative to your own by seeing if their eyes meet your own and if they look away and speak with less eye contact than you.

Eye contact is useful in many situations, such as getting a bartender’s attention in a busy club, getting picked first when raising your hand, stealing more attention from a speaker when in a group of listeners and much more. Subtleties in the way you direct your eye contact can be very powerful in conveying your message.

Intensity in the eyes can make a serious and important message much more memorable and impactful. A cute smile with just the right amount of direct eye contact can convey dozens of emotions. Being able to master this skill will allow you to captivate and maintain your audience. If you don’t use direct eye contact, you’ll convey low self esteem, nervousness and uncertainty.

Exercise: Be conscious of where you are looking when you speak to someone. Are you looking around? Are you looking at things near you or fidgeting with things while speaking? If you are shy when looking at your listener when you speak, then glance at your listener every once in awhile when you are talking to them.

More importantly, look at them when you begin to speak and again when you finish your sentence. Finish every sentence while looking at your listener. It should be done smoothly and not abruptly as that will convey nervousness. If looking at their eyes directly is too intense, then you can start by looking at the bridge of their nose until you feel more comfortable. You shouldn’t always look someone in the eye for the entire conversation, but finding the balance between the two is what you should aim for.

If looking someone in the eye at a close distance is quite intimidating, then start by making direct eye contact with people at a further distance. The next time you take the bus, go up to a cashier, get the attention of your waiter or interact with anybody (at a fair distance)on a less personal level, look them in the eye. Eventually this action will be more comfortable and natural to you, and before you know it, you will be conversing with people with more confidence.