If you have a girlfriend now and things aren’t going well, you may just be feeling a bit scared that you’re going to lose the relationship that you worked so hard to get. You may have started thinking what you might have done to mess up a relationship. When this happens, some guys don’t know where to start fixing things.

Hey — I’m pretty sure there isn’t a guy in the world who has not felt the panic that comes when bickering becomes out of hand. Some guys, however, let the feeling of desperation consume them completely and forget what attracted the girl to them in the first place. In short, they start showing signs of being insecure, too needy and too available.

And, guess what, the girls react in several predictable ways. First they feel “extra” special at the attention. They feel like they can act up anytime and you won’t complain. Then, they start complaining that you’re suffocating them with all the attention. When it reaches this point, you can bet that the power play that’s inherent in ANY relationship has shifted completely in her direction, and she won’t even bat an eyelash at the thought of dumping a pathetic guy like you.

How to Avoid Being Needy By Making Your Girl Value Your Time

Scarcity is not overrated. In fact, it’s the least implemented tool in relationships. What, with the many times guys just give in to nagging just to get a girl to shut up about her demands on how a “perfect relationship” should go? Going along with what she wants and being her slave is the easy way out, but if you do the contrary, you might just detonate a bomb that could set your relationship straight. It’s like setting a fractured bone; it will hurt at first but it’s for the best.

First of all, do a little personality spruce up. Join a group or start a hobby that doesn’t include her, preferably something that will make her see a side of your personality that she never knew existed. Make it clear to her that you intend to develop yourself further so that you can be a better person. If you can strike a balance between your personal goals and your relationship, she will value your time together more.

This is also a good way to test your trust issues. Remember, if she is incapable of trusting you, no amount of desperate effort will satisfy her.

If you’re in a relationship rut, listen up — don’t beat yourself up for feeling helpless and desperate while your relationship hits the skids. Instead, focus on repairing the damage by “setting the pace” for this new stage of your relationship. It’s amazing how a relationship can evolve after a huge emotional blow up. Make sure you’re on top of the changes and you are fully in control of your emotions before you attempt a less needy approach to solving your issues.

A huge caveat to this is developing the “letting go” mindset. If things are too stressful – and you’ve given your all to making things work without falling into the “too needy” trap – maybe it’s just not meant to be.

Tags: needy, relationship issues, relationships