Let’s say you want to date a girl you just met but she’s not the type of girl who can decide on the spot whether she wants you as a boyfriend or not. You’re now ‘friends’, which means you’ve met up on occasion but still don’t feel comfortable enough around each other to heat things up. Moreover, it means her defenses are way up so you have to present a date idea that will neither spook her nor increase her hesitation. What kind of date will breed familiarity, dismantle her resistance switches and increase the possibility of a make out?

To a girl who’s on the fence about plunging headlong in a relationship with you, a dinner date is a high risk activity involving wine, dancing and goodnight kisses. A movie date is ok, but being out in public increases awkwardness somewhat, and will keep you from escalating.

A coffee date? It’s for total strangers who engage in small talk because they don’t know much about each other yet. You’re already friends with her, don’t waste that advantage.

Here’s a suggestion: a lunchtime rendezvous in your apartment.

Lunch is safer, more relaxing and more convenient than a dinner date. If her work schedule or yours doesn’t allow dinner time dates, inviting her over for lunch is the way to go. By doing this, you will be able to create an environment that makes getting to know more about the other person as natural and fun as possible. Here are some more tips to set up that perfect lunch with your would-be girlfriend…

1. Plan the Menu

Preparing a menu for when a girl visits will require more than just good taste… you need to have a strategy in mind.

• Choose a recipe that allows you to pre-cook the meat and store it in the refrigerator for heating in the microwave when you’re done with the rest of the prep work. This is so you won’t have to handle raw meat during your date and wash your hands every time you want to do something else.

• Always include a salad. Cut the vegetables for the salad in advance. See how the professional cooks do it on tv? They use pre-cut slices so they can concentrate on performing for their audience.

• Get a box of chocolates. This is the least messy dessert and something that many women love to eat.

2. Ask her to help out

Men and women feel uncomfortable the first time they enter an environment, so your girl might spend a few minutes taking in her new surroundings and getting used to being there. To help her relax, ask her to help with the salad or plates. This makes her drop her guard further because being in a kitchen together will give the illusion that you’ve known each other longer. If you think asking her to help out as soon as she arrives will rub her the wrong way, you can subtly convey the message by wearing your apron when you answer the door.

3. Make her feed you during prep time

Here’s when the box of chocolates will come in handy. Open the box and place it near the prep table while you’re stirring the pot or fixing the salad plates. Tell her you’re both allowed to have dessert to tide you over while you’re preparing the salads together. Then, grab the cheese and the grater, a few salad pieces or the spatula and ask her to pop one piece of chocolate in your mouth because you can’t. This move will open her up to the idea of touching you, and might just lead to more lovey-dovey gestures from her.

4. Feed her

The main reason why you’re preparing salads is so you can have fun asking her opinion on which dressing should go with what salad. Don’t ask permission to feed her, just scoop a teaspoonful of salad, top it with a dressing of her choice and bring it close to her lips so she can’t say no.

Being alone in the kitchen increases sexual tension, makes you relax enough to touch each other and improves rapport. Just in case your date is too uptight to participate actively, you can break the ice by pretending you’re on food network together, with her as your guest.

Tags: date ideas, flirting, lunch date